The Man Who Couldn't Cry!

There once was a man who just couldn't cry
He hadn't cried for years and for years
Napalmed babies and the movie love story
For instance could not produce tears
As a child he had cried as all children will
Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
He grew to be a man, the feces hit the fan
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry

His dog was run over his wife gave up and left him
And after that he got sacked from his job
Lost his arm in the war
was laughed at by a whore
Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob

His novel was refused
his movie was banned
And his big Broadway show was a flop

He got sent off to jail
you guessed it, no bail
Oh, but still not a dribble or drop

In jail he was beaten
bullied and buggered
And made to make license plates
Water and bread was all he was fed
But not once did a tear stain his face

Doctors were called in, scientists, too
Theologians were last and practically least

They all agreed sure enough
this was sure no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast

He was removed from jail and placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He played lots of chess and made lots of friends
And he wept every time it would rain

Once it rained forty days
and it rained forty nights
And he cried and he cried
and he cried and he cried

On the forty-first day, he passed away
He just dehydrated and died

Well, he went up to heaven
located his dog
Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
Down below, all the critics
they loot it all back
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm

His ex-wife died of stretch marks
his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out

Right down to the ground
that old jail house burned down
The earth suffered perpetual drought
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