Few unlearned lessons!!

they say life is a great teacher.....you seem to learn so much from it.....they say you keep on learnin it n' there's no end to it...but in my case....i guess...there're too many lessons that i've unlearned.....the lessons that i've learnt yesterday seems to be hittin me hard today....n' tomorrow for me is as far as heaven.......its so strange when i think that all my wants n' my desires seem to be reversin in direction......i still remember.....in those younger days of mine.....maybe in the back of my mind.....i always had a want that there should be some person who'd love me more than anyone else.....who'd really understand every shade within me.....who'd not only laugh with me....but also cry with me.......with whom i don't needa say anythin to share but somehow that person understands everythin without any need to communicate.....some person who'd care for me so much that i don't have to care for myself anymore.....yeah that was what i thought n' i wanted that to happen with myself.....maybe it wasn't a direct straight forward wait.....but in some corner of my heart.....that wait was always there.....till very recently........but no more.....no more i've that wait.....for maybe i've realized somethin really very special......that it doesn't matter at all if someone else love you or not......but how much YOU can love someone else......to what extent...........n' always wantin to extend that extent.......its not important at all if someone else understands every shade of yourself....but how much you can understand someone else......so much so that even if you know quite so many things about that person.....like no one else.....you always seek to know some more of that person so that you're sure that you understand every bit of that person......its not about someone else laughin with you......but you makin sure that the person always has a smile when you're with that person......makin sure that you've made every effort to bring one smile in that face....no matter if that brings a century full of tears in your eyes.......its not about how that person communicates with you.....its how you enter that zone with that person when you no longer have to touch to feel that person.....but everythin happens with every essence of spontanity.......it doesn't matter how much someone else can care for you....but how much you can care for someone else that you're almost taken for granted!

yeah i know.....its tough.....but it becomes so easy when you find such a person....that you don't even have to make an effort to do all those stuffs......but havin said all these stuffs......its easier for such an application....but execution is never so easy......for in my world....its not one person that you're livin a life of.......there're so many of them within "me".......n' every "me" happens to carry a different responsibility.......n' sometimes to balance a few equations.....a lot of equations get unbalanced.....n' irony to it is.....that those unbalanced equations deal with the one "me" that gets dumped way down inside me who somehow never got a chance to express!....i'm allowed to feel anythin for anyone.....its just that i'm not allowed to express anythin......i wish one day....i could burst out every tear n' unfulfilled dream that lies burried within me......but i know that day would never come!....never.........