n’ i lost it somewhere....

tears used to smile here.... egos stood humble. togetherness was only in the green room as solitude ruled the center stage. humiliation gave consolation to those underahieved palm trees. confusion clearly understood..... what clarity failed to explain. ignorance was the permanent teacher..... n’ irony was often misunderstood. sorrows were happy go lucky.... n’ humour has its sensibility. n’ the typos that were never “un”noticed were actually cipher text. i used to write letters in the blank that underlined the void only....... n’ the spaces i used to fill up..... widenin’ them was the real purpose. n’ everythin’ else was so beautifully mixed up..... i couldn’t tell if it was night or day..... n’ no one else did.

n’ then i lost it somewhere..... probably i never deserved to retain it. for i believe there’re differences between gettin’ n’ receivin’. although i used to get it all when you didn’t even give me anythin’.... n’ now only paybacks i recieve n’ i know not if i should take them...... for i believe not bein’ good is somethin’ different from good in bein’ bad. i thought i was the latter then.... n’ now i believe it’s just the other way round.

dyin’ not only ceases the opportunity to live any longer..... but it also pulls down the shutter to die once again. i thought i was the puppet then.... forced upon by the strings. i still feel i’m that puppet.... but now, even the strings are held by some other puppet

       

i never seeked refuge in those brief pauses i took... uh-uh! but those punctuation marks were my moments of doubts...... doubts that still persist........ i only lost those punctuations.

       

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