dear m

with all the words we both share... i don't know how often we mean them or do we intend... but they mean everythin'. n' even last night.... we talked like young boys... i don't know if i'm allowed to do so now.... n' after all... the worries i'm relyin' on...... they're not all mine like i said to you.

mom is worried to all extremes... n' rightly so. she should be. she too is findin' it hard to see me like this. it's often hard to be a spectator whenever i take the centerstage. n' she's worried if i lose my youth before i should. n' how could have i told her i already did. lyin' to her was bad but the worst part..... i've to pretend forever from now on. if only my life was like my hair... could have changed it.

but back to you.... like you said already... "she who can catch me off-guard"... n' that sums up everythin'. n' that would include everythin'... but somethin' i still would want to add although it's added already. "she who can be the inexhaustive sink of my salivary juices.." n' "she who shall sing killin' me softly" for me. although i managed the killin-me-softly part from my "ex-girlfriend"... not in song form but in poem form... n' that would do... n' i deliberately used the ex-girlfriend term.... although we both know it's perfectly inappropriate. i guess my rape-victim would sound more precise... but i guess i still would go with the former.

idly yours,
......