...from the cradle to the grave.(the addendum)

he had lost quite a few things in his life for just one gain-- to allow him to love her....missed every credit when he helped her somehow in her time of distress from a far background....missed the company of his friends who no longer liked him for his absent mindedness....missed the scholarship which could have easily changed his life....missed every other opportunity to be happy....as he was happy to think about the fact that he still managed to love her amidst those strange times....but he gained one more thing apart from the love.....sleeplessness....n' by then, he could have easily been declared as the original sleepless of the town!

n' all the time....he was impatiently n' unwantingly waitin for the inevitable to happen....the last day of college....when everythin else was goin to end...but his love for her....somethin he knew right from the day he made the promise....n' just like a cancer patient who waits to finally meet his end....he too waited to see her no more...n' everythin else wiped out....n' it'd be unfair to say that the girl walked out of his life...for she never walked in......atleast the boy thought in that way....n' he said to himself....."n' finally....i walk out of her life!".....but he couldn't....for the next four years....or more perhaps....what was yet to be discovered.

n' pages were turned.....coins were flipped...dices were rolled....n' his fortune was tested for endurance....n' in came those graduation years....four long....tedious years.....when the day started off with Metallica's "Unforgiven".....n' the night disappeared in Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here".......n' the times between those periods.....umm??...nothin.....nothin worthy to be written or read about!...n' here i'm gonna skip those four years coz in those years there were more lessons he had unlearnt than the ones he did learn.....coz in those four years......there were more broken promises than newer ones!

n' he graduated to bring smiles in those faces of his mother.....his father.....n' also the goat that his neighbour owned!....he had finally returned home from his exile when he got all sorts of news from his mother.....about the latest conspiracy theory goin on in her office.....the recent marriages n' divorces....about the couples who looked good n ' the ones who didn't.......n' also about the the little girls who he used to know....had finally had their sessions of puberty......when he almost got into some fight with his mother, as one girl, accordin to him, already had her stock of puberty the last year when he came home.....which had made his mother into some feast of fury....as she never liked issues that contained questions regardin feminism.....n' finally he had to back off n' apologize!

but he still knew that he missed her....n' her images flashed in front of his eyes like a lucid nostalgic film.....it might had lacked the lustre in those non-glorifyin years of graduation....but it definitely possessed the sparkle.....n' he was only tryin to enjoy his long awaited stay in his house.

it was only a few kilometers away from his home....a phone conversation had just arrived at a point of conclusion.....a boy n' a girl was on the phone line talkin the usual friendly neighbourhood stuff when the girl had declared her inability to visit the boy's place for some unplanned tactical inadequency.....which was so postponed for the next evenin.

n' our unqualified hero had just decided to visit his friend after quite sometime....it was a break which he really needed when he could talk about anythin....from the latest movies...the pirated music he had collected in the last four years....to the extent of nudity the mms flow could achieve.....but just then on that day....his mother got suddenly sick......might have been some precognition of a chain chemical reaction that had already begun...imparted due to age n' wisdom....but the doctor definitely told somethin else......n' so he had to stay back.

but just like its sudden advent....his mother's sickness strangely departed without even leavin any traces....which allowed him to finally take his visit.....n' it was a long time for him since he had last taken any social visits.....n' it was just like "the jester back in town"......right from his friend's mother's recipe.....his friend's father's football match...to his friend's maid's chappati.....he was everywhere....both in n' out!....n' it was somethin like energies trapped from all sides was finally findin a small outlet which somehow made a rush!

n' those were times of pleasures for him....coz strangely in that time....after a long era....he was surprisingly not thinkin about her....somethin which he was quite unaware of.....though fate wasn't!

n' then the door bell rang.....n' then she walked in.....again explainin why she couldn't come yesterday.....as if she had completely forgotten about the phone call.....n' then his freind asked him to get introduced to her.....which he had no intentions....but what he intended was far from what really had to happen!

n' he was introduced.....n' no...no fairy tale stuff did happen once again!....infact the introduction stuff sucked pretty much.....somethin which he was thoroughly unused with.....the rendezvous could have been compared with between a homely n' talkative girl next door n' a war hero from Vietnam!....but strangely enough...it worked....glances were exchanged....thoughts got mixed....n' grins flew across the center table......n' the visit that started at 5 in the evenin....ended 10 in the night.....when the girl went away......n' they finally got a chance to talk the guy stuff.....which her presence had completely ruined.....n' it was only then he came to know that she was gettin married after two months.

n' just as he was lyin in his bed.....he watched a spider weavin a web in the wall.....n' he felt somethin strange....somethin similar to what he felt when he had seen the broken kite.....but yet again he failed to relate those two occassions...but he felt some relation. n' life passed just the same way it did everyday...the sun rose from the same eastern skies....n' settled down finally in the same western horizons....the children played the same old ball game....n' the neighbours still used to concoct the same old stories....when somethin different was just about to happen.

he was reframin the last few shots of the meetin he had with the girl.....the words were..."stay in touch"....."stay in touch"......n' i don't know what exactly he was actually tryin to do....but those words had made up a world of echo in his mind...n' as if in a trance he was.....he wrote a mail to her.....to a girl who was gettin married after two months.....the fact he kept underlinin for quite a few hours....n' infact did that for the next two months n' also henceforth!

n' that was it....a beginnin of an adult friendship....a matured relationship between two matured individuals...between a boy who had a calloused past n' a girl who recently had her engagement n' was gettin married two months later...the duo....not blessed with any rhyme or lyrical enrichments...even when described.

n' it was not very long when mailboxes carried huge loads of mails or rather submissive expressions.....the boy who was blessed or rather cursed with this gift from the cosmos....to notice the unnoticeable!.... replied all those words that were written in those mails....n' also the words that were not written....n' the girl paid attention to him despite all those prejudiced remarks that boy had earned....n' it wasn't very long enough when the girl gave him her phone number...n' soon conversations began with proper verbs!.....n' the boy would write a mail to her.....everyday after the phone calls....pointin out all those stuffs the girl wanted to say but which she didn't......n' it was before the girl told him...when he got to know about the broken relationship she had recently...from one of her mails....although she never mentioned a word about it.

n' very soon without even realizin....the boy became her permanent support system...someone she relentlessly started to count on....."your words are just like chocolates!".....she'd say......n' she had become a habit for the boy....who'd devise different tactics only to bring a single smile on her face.
n' there was this serious metamorphosis within the boy....owin to that girl....his expressions suddenly findin an outlet.....those everwaitin ears of that girl who loved listenin anythin from the boy.....from inner hidden meanings of Pink Floyd's songs....Java Beans....his non-expressive broken romance.....to those strange commercials of breast enhancer in the t.v.

n' all the while.....the fact that he was talkin to a girl who was gettin married....infact comforted him.....coz slowly n' gradually.....he was havin those clouds of doubts in his mind, if he was cheatin on his previous romance by gettin too close with another girl....infact it was he who always defended her fiancee n' initiated the patch up process between 'em...in case of some disagreement....without even lettin him know about it.

n' almost two months were comin to a completion.....both of 'em had become like a mornin newspaper for each other n' the day begun with a phone call n' ended with the same.....though he always had to share the phone line with her fiancee.....the latter who always had a higher priority.....which he never seemed to mind.

n' so did the day began - the 23rd day of april.....only in the evenin....he began to realize....that somethin had already happened....which shouldn't have happened at all...n' he was filled with all sorts of doubts....n' all the time told one thing to himself...."this can't be true"....n' the entire evenin...he spent by talkin with the girls of his neighbourhood...some of 'em....he never even knew before....just to let himself know that did he feel the same while talkin to some other girl which he felt when he talked with her....but found no one.....he knew the truth by then.....but was too scared even to confess that to himself!

n' once again...he found himself takin refuge under that broken street light....sittin sleeplessly in that night....somehow holdin back to all his emotions which were still in an unexpressed mode since long ....which was nearin a point of explosion....just when...as if scripted in the divine plan....the phone rang.....n' her number flashed on the screen...just like it did so many times.....which he attended..but for the first time....he could say nothin to her but uttered words of silence....n' as if she too seemed somethin strange....asked him if everythin was ok.....just when his every reinforcements for his emotions she penetrated...n' he broke completely n' hopelessly....just like a child....the child who somehow got lost in the myths of reality.....as if it had surfaced long after childhood had perished....n' his tears were either magically or chronologically destined to preceed those tears from her eyes....n' as if that was the simplest expression of love between two souls....perhaps in one of the most complicated scenarios of life......n' yet again unspoken words spoke the most.....n' for the first time....he was able to express what he felt.....in the truest of expressions.

n' for the next day...the phone never stopped ringin...n' for the first time.....they're actually talkin like lovers....when words expressed expectations from each other.....sentences uttered demands from each other.....n' paragraphs imposed rights on both of 'em....as if it was somethin they both were desperately waitin for.

n' finally the day arrived....25th april...which he still believes .....happens to be the longest day of his life.....the very next day, his girl was goin to leave....to get married to someone else.....when all day long...n' all night long....more words were unspoken than spoken...n' all the while both understood what they meant...but only failed to understand what to do.....the girl all the while confessed with silent syllables that she didn't want to go n' he requited with the same language askin her to stay.

it was quite late at that when he recieved her last mail.....every word of which casted shadows of seperation.....in those 69 days of romance, not on a single day they met......but only after recievin that last mail...they both understood how close they had come.....defyin all equations of geography n' society....n' it was only then.... when he was comin out of the trance.....just when he realized the beautiful error that he had already made......he felt he had no right to trespass the emotions of a girl who was still recoverin from her past relationship issue n' was gettin married a few days later......he felt that he had no right to have those feelings for her....n' felt that it was he who was respondsible for the feelings she had had for him. he felt that in the process of givin her a few smiles....he had provided her ownership of vast oceans of tears.....though he himself owned a few such oceans....but he felt the bitterness coz for the first time....he had brought tears into someone's eyes....someone for whom he always wanted to be a reason for smile......he felt that he had no right to indulge in some psychological romance that would have resulted only dust that only remained.

havin all those grave thoughts still in his mind....he made his last phone call to her...the phone number he got so used to dialin....as if his fingers got some pleasure touchin those sequenced number pads....n' it was only then when he confessed how wrong he had been doin since the last two months.....not for lovin her....but makin her feel that he loved her....though he was least aware of the romance that concieved within 'em in those strange days of thunderin n' rainfall...he took every blame on himself.....as if all those burdens in his heart......burdens of guilt n' sin...could make her feel a bit lighter compared to him.....he felt that his love for her had given a lot of pain to her....which could be only put to an end by puttin an end to the romance.......more of a psychological n' metaphysical one which seemed not to belong to this world....though happened in this world.....n' he hung up the phone....hopin that everythin else would have hung up in the same way.....which was quite unlikely.

n' he was still in his bed....in the time when the moon got lost somewhere....but the sun was still to find its way in the easter horizon.....the time when the entire silence of the moment was broken by his empty heart beats....n' yet again by the song the songbird sang with the four syllables......a songbird which is believed to be a part of some ancient folklore which described a prince loiterin hopelessly in search of a songbird which hold the key to the life of his dyin princess....it was only when the songbird flapped its wings over a bud of some wild herb...that will make the bud blossom....which would revive the princess back to life.....but it would take the life of the bird....seein the prince....the bird fell in love with him n' agreed to help him only to see him happy....though he knew that would make him die.....the bird agreed only wantin a last kiss from the prince as a souvenir of its love...but after the bloomin of the flower....the prince got so excited n' happy to be able to bring his princess back to life.....he forgot everythin n' ran back to his castle with the flower......n' the legend says that the songbird still waits for the princess to return n' give the bird its last kiss.....n' still calls the prince in the form of a song of four syllables.

n' in that night...which didn't want to end....he found himself once again alone.....loneliness which had found home in him.....as if had gone on a vaccation....but had finally returned.....n' those last 23 years very lucidly flashed before him.....right from the shootin star....the story of jester Marco....the broken kite.....science class punishment....his non-expressive one track love affair....those four non-glorifyin graduation years......n' the 69 day long strange n' surreal love affair....an unexistent n' shallow relationship that stood quite tall.

....a relationship that saw everythin.....laughters that easily could've filled empty staircases.....arguements filled with enormous heat that could've easily burnt entire forests....requests n' pleas to ignore what each other last did when they both thought it was absolutely unneccessary....there were times when they actually tried to avoid each other...there were times when they were led much by their ego....n' also by their hearts......n' even tears that imparted a lot of lucidity in the language of expression.....a relationship that started with a 5 hour conversation......that lasted 69 days....a relationship in which they realized that they were actual lovers....only on the final day of their romance!......a relationship which made him realize that it wasn't at all necessary to touch someone in order to feel 'em.....a relationship which made him realize that pronounced orgasms could be achieved when souls tend to seduction!.....a relationship which made him realize that a life full of burdens with a respondsibility of mishandled relationships was far more worse than a simple death....which was now his destiny.....a relationship which made him realize that life is but a symphony......far beyond than a culmination of meaningful accidents!

n' thats how this story ends.....a tale of a boy who wanted to survive....he just needed to survive.....its a tale of the promises.....that he made from the cradle to the grave.....a story about his unexistin existence.....which he thought was more than on right or wrong.....a journey of discoveries without any proofs.......a story of a boy who intended to live forever....but ended in havin a thousand deaths in his 23 years of livin.....a story of a boy who intended to taste the chicken soup.....but ended up bein convicted by his own moral conduct against mistrust n' disbelief. a story of a misinformed acrobat who still looks for a shootin star just to make one simple wish that let the girl look at the moon when he happens to look at it...so that he can somehow feel her!

a story which does not want to evoke any tragical ecstasy of authorship....but to encapsulate a few realities of life......about truth which is far stranger than fiction....it's about unexpressed emotions that unsaid words possess.....it's about all those strangers which you often see on deserted highways.....it's an honest attempt to express the gratitude i've for all the fossils that're yet to be found....after which...even though the entire history of their species will be generated...but no will care to know about its life before bein in the fosilized captivity.....the gratitude i've for all the black spots on the moon....which have much prejudice with 'em since eternity......a story which wants to raise questions on why people don't listen to all those shallow heart beats inside the chest of a jester...who still tries to make someone smile makin a fool of himself....on why its only after when the blood begins to dry...people finally gets the smell...n' not before that....a story that wants to request everyone to have a thought when they see a shootin star.....to have a thought when they see someone gazin hopelessly at the moon!......it's a story in honour of all those tears that don't actually come........in honour of all those modern men n' women who still wait for their beloved to come back even though they know miracles seldom occur!

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends...

unfinished but complete...

tailpiece from the author

this entire write up was actually inspired from the track titled "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day.....it's actually a kind of long distance dedication....n' the names are actually preserved to protect the innocent....the story of the jester Marco is compelely fictional....though the songbird do exist!.....the incident in the science class happend to be a true one.....the images were actually drawn by the dinosaurs....although the broken heart disease theory was originally crafted by the boy without any scientific pre-requisites....a theory which does not hold very sound under scientific shadows......but cannot be completely denied though!....it's safe to mention that roll no. 114 does not exist....but numbers hardly matter!....the sentence referred to in the text in some English lecture is quite a elegant one....but only in this case... happens to be without any meanin...it belonged to one of those lots that said the most but meant the least!....the botany laboratory mentioned in the text was more of a marketin ploy to attract readers!...though happens to be a true fact!.....the t.v. commercial of the breast enhancer was not meant to offend any feministic issues...huh huh!...though mentioned only as token of intimacy here....though not always means the same!....n' lastly...this entire write up was not at all intended to torture souls or endure wait...it was only intended to express the plight of tortured souls n' waitin strangers!