...change ain't nothin but change!

recently i've had a small difference of opinion with my mom as i more often do...this time for her seein of some typical "saas bahu" stuff on the TV...and i questioned whether the attention she paid on those stuffs was really essential...my point was that all such soaps show the same bits of reel again n' again...but as of now...when i'm sittin all alone...i wonder...is it the same things thats been happenin in my life too!....thinkin about my life...that holds to be true...just when everythin seems to work fine...somethin get screwed up...and all that remain, is a pretty mess...and then again things finally switch back to normal just to repeat the cycle!

but all these things scares me a bit...i don't get scared because the mess is becomin a part of me these days...but actually i'm tryin to figure out the reason behind it....if fate is behind it....then there's nothing to worry ...as there's no point in worryin....and i too fall in that section who believes that fate's behind everything...and the last couple of years made me to reinforce this belief...but what if its not fate thats screwin up...what if i'm makin some mistakes thats causin everythin...but if its my mistake....then why don't they get noticed...and why keep on makin the same mistakes without realizin when i committed them...but only experiencin the effects.....it seems these questions are better left "unanswered".....because i don't think anyone's ever gonna answer me or explain to me...i believe its one of those stuffs which you don't wanna share with someone but always expect "someone" to feel those wounds and heal them!

comin across the word unanswered...it reminds me of the fact why i actually started to write a blog...i was tired of gettin late replies of my mails...and when they do come...i don't find the appropriate emotions to support those replies...as they say ".....delayed is denied!"....but here in blogs...i don't have to wait for any replies and expect them.

"expectations".....i really like some english words...i really do!....and i believe its one of in the top of the list....all of our lives we expect...we keep on expectin as if there's no endin.....expectin to live when we die....expectin to die when we live......expectin to be loved when someone don't love us....even neglectin if someone else is there who loves us so much.......but in my expectations of greater glory...i feel that i've lost a plenty of opportunities of havin smaller pleasures....but as of now when i look back in my past....its all those smaller pleasures that i can only recall back....because the wait for that greater glory only brought deeper wounds.....which are only meant to be forgotten...even if you can't....but these small pleasures keep on echoin in our ears.....and sometimes even makes me have the strongest of hallucinations i've ever had!........i guess our lives are actually built on those small things....they're the ones what make our real lives!