Happy Days!!!

so......interestin week for me this was........so many things did happen.......my exam......saraswati puja......valentine's day.......my stay at abhishek's.......n' at last i 'm finally sittin here in front of my pc.

everyday is showin show much of life to me......so much to learn everyday.....i sometimes feel that life's too short to accumulate all those experiences at one place......but i guess.....its all about how we see those stuffs........n' yes........i crossed yet again.....a cross-point in my life.......this exam was the last point that i could have viewed until now........n' from now on.......i needa wait sometime........although i always hated to wait.......but unlike my past experiences........this 'wait' is really worth........n' now when i'm closin my eyes.....n' typin whatever is comin on to my mind......i'm really feelin a sense of relief......not mainly because the exams're over......although that too is a partial reason.......i'm relieved because i'm feelin some strange kind of happiness.......though strange n' happiness don't always go together......but i'm bound to use both of them together......because its really been a while for me to experience such a feelin..........maybe because.......this time i'm not happy because i've achieved somethin great.......maybe because this time......i feel i've so much to achieve...........n' this longingness.....n' emptiness....is makin me happy......i know thats soundin a little off tune........but maybe now i've understood that i can be always happy........even in the times of uncertainity........if i really cared enough to be happy........n' you don't needa make a genuine effort for that........all you need is a moment......a moment with yourself........the moment where you can understand that there're people who always care for you.......even if they don't show it......there're people with whom you can talk with.......even in the middle of the night.......who'll listen to you.......even if they don't understand you completely.....but genuinely try to.........there're people around you who really need your help.......there're people near you........who really expects to see you.......n' probably......all these're enough to give you the real happiness.........n' maybe i was not seein all these lights through the clouds.....but as of now.......i feel as if i'm gettin a glimpse of it.......n' thats probably the exact reason for my happiness!

now......when i still use to recall days from my last four years.......i wish i should've written down every single veritable trauma.......that did penetrated my soul.......i could've really seen every single transition of my life....like a clear reflection in stand-still water.......but i guess its really a pleasant evil that we can't always do stuffs that we really wanna do!

"doubts".......as defined by the dictionary doubt (dout) v. doubt·ed, doubt·ing, doubts. --tr. 1. To be undecided or skeptical about 2. To tend to disbelieve; distrust 3. To regard as unlikely 4. Archaic. To suspect; fear........has always been a part of me........as if it were a friend of my very soul........that i know.......will continue to live.......long after i've gone!.........n' "D" most honest part to be put in very straight language......i didn't like its company........n' i was sick of it...........doubts about future.......doubts about happiness........doubts about priorities.......doubts about friendship n' love..............i kind of developed this feelin that these doubts're a part of me.........n' had almost gave to clear them up.........but maybe i was a bit too eager then.........n' perhaps now i somehow understand that i need not clear them.........doubts are there in their place just to clear me...

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land......

Jim Morrison