n' what after the crucifixion?

do you know why they still mourn when they think about jesus being crucified?....not actually for the "act" of crucifixion...for if they would have been really mournful...they'd have felt about satan a long time back...they feel awfully sorrowful for he was god's son....but can you feel what I feel?....pilate atleast ordered the crucifixion when jesus was still alive....but you....you first mummified me alive.... then when I'm finally dead....you watched me hangin on that cross....but atleast...I formed a piece of solace entertainment for you....n' didn't i make you feel like those kings who watch the gladiators to fight for the honour of death...like I always tried to..... believe me...that's one evil I felt I was so blessed when I was possesed....but you talk...you talk about "apathetic vision".....you talk about "enroachments"....you talk about "cocoons"....but I always felt about togetherness....i always felt about belongingness.....in the few moments that I thought I spent with you.....or rather should I say....I stole from you....but I guess I better take guard for my soul.....for some criminals are never forgiven....labels are ever ready.....labels are never endin....n' labels you're all gonna stick to my back.....n' I won't back off...n' did you say "entertainment"?....i thought that was my domain.....n' I thought that was not even your previledge...on the givin vertical....it's only the receiver's end where you belong.....n' haven't I entertained you well?....even before anastasia was invented...do you know what made me smile even in those bitter times?...for I was never accepted without those smiles....n' "my friend".....as you address me....friendship is definitely more than "appended corollaries"....for corollaries are only residues....it's the theories that are already bein formulated....but ironically....not with practical precipitates....n' you can always talk about synonyms...but few words sadly don't have any synonyms.....for I never found any word which can replace "co-incidences"....for I never found any word which replaced "contradictions"......for I believed I found nothin that could replace strangers.....n' my friend.....knowin what it feels to live life in a vacuum is sad....but I guess you got it......livin a life in a vacuum....when each day both your soul and the ones who "claim" to gauge n' verify the authenticity of the weight in that soul..... backfires ....it's not at all sad....infact it gets better n' better n' better.....which you understood with so much of completeness.....a completeness which even the supernova lacks when we talk about heat......n' "randomness?"....i thought you believed me when you nodded each time when I resurrected the fact that randomness is impersistent....randomness is only manufactured....only by our minds.....but those "calloused neurons" know exactly about the concoction theory n' also about the manufacturin process.....remember those times I told you I see my life when I see you.....i told you for I was real afraid....for I thought you deserved a life better than that....far better than that....somethin which I sincerely yearn for..every night i pray...n' it's really unfortunate to tell you that it requires a involvement with utter grief when someone has to wish his dear one a life...which not at all resembles his own...that too a life which has not fully started yet....but what difference does it make to someone who underlines words like "hell"....with "blood ink".....overshadowin those drops of blood which only happens to run in dfferent veins....n' that my friend is what i call "coincidence"...n' not when you ask me about the mumbai rains.....n' the guru affair....i don't remember if I ever started it...I don't remember even if I taught you somethin.....for I thought both our lives are already written on the pages that we already had read completely....or rather should I say...somethin which atleast I read completely......it was only I who practised the background theory.....for it was I who created it.....i never pulled no one....nor I ever will do.....what you felt like advertisement was only a sincere dedication to the admiration I have for you....but you portrayed me as the whore....alright then...I'm gonna be that whore then......someone whom you gonna bang whole night n' throw those green bits of paper that you've earned....your dictionary may have words like anonymity....incognito...maybe more....but my dictionary don't have that many words....but I got a few...words like "last resort"....but unlike you....do you know where I entered in fallacies......i believed in those words....n' even ran after 'em..but didn't have that solemn "wisdom"....nor that divine "knowledge"... like you had....that those were mere words crafted by a filthy white man who dwelled with his mistresses...n' only walked with his wife for those royal occassions....to guise 'em all.

...do you know why grasshoppers are green.....because their destiny is to hide in that realm of greenhood.....not from someone else....but from themselves...n' the token of friendship you mentioned.....what can be a bigger token than 11376 characters of thorough... brutal.... assaults on a deadbody....that too from someone who has 2 words per hour when it comes to typin....i appreciate the "pain" you must have been through all these breath-takin journies of universal distance of a few light years...n' I must also add that all those pains were accurately crafted in the most right direction.....for they drew blood.....real blood.....that too ....just two days before friendship day...man....could I asked for anythin else!

...n' do you know i never had to look back to find you...coz you never require a rear view mirror when you're on the wrong side in some oneway highway....n' i drive that one headlight vehicle for a time of which eternity seems a split fraction.

p.s. long live the pilates...