dear fiddler’s green

and yes..... i oh-so-want-to-write somethin’ when you’ve to excuse me for my staggerin’ handwritin’... n’ you know the reason why. there’s nothin’ much i’m doin’.... which is what i enjoy the most doin’.... exploitin’ the services of my pencil to it’s fullest ( imply whatever it wants to..).

heavy sighs.... head-droppings n’ a reluctant handwritin’ stroke. n’ yes... i found you yesterday.... which doesn’t mean that i’ve boycotted my “ex”.... although it may be highly indicative since i’ve gotten rid of it’s trace from almost everywhere..... but accordin’ to my press-released-statement version... i had sent it to the backseat. n’ just for the record... i’ve written your name everywhere.... n’ that would be here n’ on my cell phone.

n’ i’m oh-so-tired.... but it still can’t steal away my moment of findin’ you.... no-no. i can’t believe two things. as a matter of fact.... i can’t believe a lot of things.... things like every time i see R, i actually see S.... n’ i don’t even know i see who... when i see S. things like how much we fear in bein’ nobody... that we end up bein’ somebody else..... things like who did i become?.... n’ have people already figured it out...... that they’re seein’ someone else n’ not me...... things like why do i’ve to try so hard to be just me when i actually want to be me..... oh god.... do i talk, hear, see, think n’ whatever..... just like someone else?..... things like atkinson’s fifth law.... “the because-i-liked-the-way-you-looked-at-me girl shall never exist.”.......... but currently... the only two things i can’t believe..... “i can’t believe i didn’t find you for so long”.... and... “i can’t believe i’ve found you.”

diseasefully yours,
.........

dear S

i’m sorry to say this.... but i totally find you plastic. right from your voice.... n’ maybe for now.... just that. n’ seriously..... this is not how anyone is supposed to talk...... no matter if they own the new york times.

i thought not makin’ mistakes is a big deal..... i was wrong. just as you’re when you think makin’ mistakes is a big one. it’s just a matter of chance.... both of them. n’ chance is not a big deal at all.

disapprovingly yours,
..........