with no expressions....

it’s a remarkably strange feelin’ n’ it’s hard for me to explain. i wouldn’t have explained it to anyone even if i could. the apparent loss of the fear of losin’ tends to exhibit a strange kind of charm n’ relief. the sense of relief i often witnessed on the faces of either the wise men or the man with a sorrow. i still don’t know if both men pointed to one man. but still it’s surreal. it’s vague. but it’s understood. you don’t seem to be bothered. n’ the blind look that you give to everyone n’ everythin’. maybe it disturbs the surroundin’ but not you. probably i smile too. a blind n’ non-directin’ smile. i always thought smile to be a vector quantity but this feelin’ is makin’ it so scalar. n’ now the things i do possess... n’ the things i might have possessed..... i don’t want to hold on to them. i probably don’t even want to hold them.

       

i keep on walkin’ with one finger touchin’ the handrails on the subway..... loosenin’ my bracelet so that it had already crossed my thumb. the fate of the relationship between my bracelet n’ my hand lied completely on gravity..... i don’t seem to be bothered to held the bracelet uptight. i was more preoccupied with these thoughts in my mind n’ was afraid that they might slosh my face in form of an expression. i was still listlessly expressionless.