late night walks...always turn me on......sometimes they even puzzle me...why i tend to like 'em so much....n' lately i've been feelin....i was always rude to 'em....not exactly rude...but neglected my late night walks....as my mind's always filled with all dirt...dye...both bleached n' soaked... those dust i dust off from my head ....i was tendin to believe that it came from my mind...after those long walks.... but never actually thought about 'em in particular....my mind always seemed to be occupied or pre-occupied with so many matters.......both depressin n' comic... i believe i never even once considered to think about those walks ....that was harsh.so tonight i thought i shall press the compensate button...don't really know where's the compensate button....but probably it'll be on the same switch board which bears the panic button!...n' i went out....actually it'd had sound a lot better if i went out on the "streets with no name"...but that wasn't to be!....it was the notorious M.G. road...n' i'm not quite sure why i actually wrote the word notorious...but felt nice..anyway....so i had to wait a while..to let this city sleep....though
i didn't quite look at my watch....but it was sometime in n' around 1:30 n' 2..... this city was growin a bit colder...specially in the nights....i was feelin comfortable n' infact cozy inside my brown jacket.....n' i found myself standin at the traffic signal at the junction of st. mark's road n' m.g. road....this was a long time wish....i really wanted to walk right through the middle of m.g. road...n' i made my slow motioned wa
lk towards brigade road juntion......but instead of lookin ahead ....my head was turnin, firstly sidewards...n' as i kept on walkin....without actually feelin the need to look ahead.....it turned back....the big neon sign board of "LIC" was to be blamed for this...not me!....suddenly realizin the fact that i'm once again driftin from my primary mission of this walk...which was actually to walk n' nothin more......i refocused my aim......n' glad i did that.....probably it's one of the best sights in the city...to see almost the whole of m.g road....till the brigade road junction...all marooned......when you hear the wind is actually whisperin in your ears....a kind of seduction which you somehow can't ignore.n' then it started to happen...this thought process that i was conceivin all along me........maybe since long time back......that came alive amidst those ramshackle huts of memories....that somehow remained hidden...n' my certain likings were questioned tonight....that why i like certain things....that probably don't mean much.......these neon lights were first raped by the scrutiny theory....that why i bend my neck more often to catch a glimpse of 'em....even while i'm inside a fast movin vehicle......why i like this sound this wind makes when it blows away bits of papers...n' i keep on lookin at 'em...movin like fishes in the air.......the likin that i bear...for this thick vapour....that's always produced when i take a hot bath......leavin its marks on the mirror.....won't let see anythin.....n' then finally i wipe it off to see my own face....i'm quite sure these're even less than ordinary things..yes i know....then why it leaves certain goose pimples in my otherwise dry skin....well the otherwise have been used here for reasons....i thought i'd a oily skin when i was home.....but i don't know if i changed or my skin....but somethin did....it's quite dry in here...n' so is my skin.
all these thought processes were suddenly shaken by this fast movin qualis....sometimes these vehicles move so fast that suddenly you tend to think even faster which side you're walkin...but not really in my case...as i was always so aware that i was right in the middle!...yes the driver can give me the rudest of the stares in the history of indian traffic community.....but not even that can make me take the footpath....i was right there...the junction of m.g. road n' brigade road.
n' i regain back my senses...to go back to my demi-trance state....a couple of moments ago..i was thinkin about my certain likings...n' more accurately...why i make 'em so special....when there's nothin much special about 'em....n' i thought of somethin then.....i realized that probably then ....i'm quite aware of myself ....for then i know...i'm actually quite lonely in there.......so lonely that i no longer feel alone.......i tend to believe that loneliness is with me....all the time.....i tend to believe that the shadow that keeps on walkin with me all the while is actually loneliness that's brought to animation.......the wind which turns those newspapers into fishes....that keeps on swimmin in the air....is also hittin me...n' in someway i tend to believe that it's makin me swim as well.........everytime i wipe that mirror in my bathroom as i take a shower.....n' see my face.......probably i feel i've found myself amidst those clouds of vapours all around me........
n' just when the neon light theorem was about to be axiomatized....i realized the fact that indiranagar is actually not so near to m.g. road!.....it's actually quite far.....while i travelled by vehicle.....i never found that......atleast now i could say i discovered somethin new...which these city dwellers don't know!!!....it's actually somewhere around between 3 n' 4 km.......well every brilliant story has somewhat a trace of anti climax.....the mere thought of that figure actually was makin me more tired than i actually was.......but i was somehow glad i didn't have to think so much ....for there was no way i could find another option there.....you can't expect anythin when it was nearin 3......i took the old madras road...n' somehow realized why it's always called the "old" madras road....yeah it looked old.......though i kept walkin ....i very well knew....home was far.....home's a far far place from here!
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