senses tell me to cry when i feel the pain...the same ones tell me to laugh out aloud...when i feel the joy. but along the way...sometimes...i feel what if the senses are actually betrayin me...maybe i'm not meant to react the way they tell me...but definitely...down the line...i feel those definitions which instruct those senses got redefined.....i won't say i'd a part to contribute in that reform.....but perhaps the situations had...like always...i'm not sure.
but now....i only can see these consequences....n' i feel i know somethin...
i once wished for the times when i shall be loved...when people confess they love me.....i longed for the moments....n' those moments actually came...maybe they did!...n' when they did...the sense of joy actually reflected in these eyes....those heart beats tended to increase when i felt there were processes goin on ...in those boundaries of the other side....when i felt someone was just about to love me...i felt special in those times.
but now....when i feel people around n' not around me...who don't love me....anymore or no more or never.......i actually feel the same way.....not like the yester years when somethin like this used to hurt me a lot......but when i can now feel that someone is beginnin to dislike or hate me.....i still feel happy......maybe i feel i deserve it perfectly.....n' now when i see or hear those expressions or tones change durin conversations....claimin in every moment.......i'm not the one anybody wants......i still feel the same......
probably that's actually the honesty which speaks the least...but says the most...for it strikes.....both sweetly n' bitterly.....for i feel i can relate in the same way....both the expression....."i love you" once....."i hate you" now.
i guess probably down the lines...these definitions really got redefined......but still......i'm alive!
Yeh hai meri kahaani,khamosh zindaganiSannata kahe raha hai,kyun zulm sahe raha haiEk dastaan purani,tanhayee ki zubaniHar zakhm khil raha hai,kuch mujhse kahe raha haiChubhte kaante yadon kedaman se chunta hoonGirti deewaron keaanchal main zinda hoon
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8 Comments:
beautiful words ...more so the final verses as they were in hindi...n as u say..hindi acchi hai :)
why do you think you deserve it perfectly?
Last post talked about connections n this i guess just opposite of it..tht is loosing those connections.
but anyways you are alive n thts what matters.
But i guess you need those people who say "I love you" n who care n believe in you for who you are to make you feel alive.
And since you are alive...i guess you havent lost those connections..
P.S. Post more in hndi..U r right ..man I am demanding
@dhruv -->> ..
beautiful words
...thank you very much!...but just for the record...they're not mine..it's a song by "Strings"..nice lyrics isn't it...plus it had got nothin to do with the the post...was bein played when i wrote this one.
hindi acchi hai :)
...aur nahin to kya!!!(wink!!)
why do you think you deserve it perfectly?
...because i do.
i guess just opposite of it.
...not really...if you look close enough...
but anyways you are alive n thts what matters.
...first of all..don't talk to me again if you use "anyways" again!!!**grr!!!**...it's anyway for heaven's sake!!!!
But i guess you need those people who say "I love you" n who care n believe in you for who you are to make you feel alive.
...no i don't...for i believe it doesn't make much of a sense to look for someone or somethin else when you can't be that someone or somethin for anyone or anythin else...there's no point in lookin for life within me...when i can't bring some life around me....for i don't think i'd make any difference to anyone..n' there's no point in longin for some shootin star when you don't have a wish!
Back on these familiar grounds after a long time...each post has an equally beautiful pic that does justice to ur write ups.Wish i cud share these wonderful write ups of yours with my friends but my hands are tied.
For i am not sure if u want too many people around u...for i never thought, u wud grant me entry behind these closed walls at all....
@nomadic_waves -->> ..
..oh! **his heart's beatin real fast...pulse rate shootin high...bp swingin like the tail of the pendulum...speakin strictly in terms of medical grounds..his medical state is way below normal**
look who's here!!is that really you or am i havin hallucinations???(wink!!) **he pinches himself hard to make him believe that it's all real**
Back on these familiar grounds after a long time.
..true lady...n' somethin even stranger...this afternoon when i was goin through my blog...was actually thinkin about you...your comments that were once inside these walls...n' strange enough...they were once again here...n' all of a sudden...all those days when grass was real green...the taste was real sweet...rushed onto my retina...those're still rated as wild days by me...when we showered loads of words on each other...seriously speakin..past is always so familiar..n' when the characters suddenly come in front of you...they look even more familiar....ooohh!!..just got goose pimples!!!
each post has an equally beautiful pic....does justice to ur write ups.....share these wonderful write ups of yours
...did anyone tell you how big flatterer you're??...no one?..then let me be the first one!!...you're an enormous one!!!!!!
share these wonderful write ups of yours with my friends
...you n' your friends...uffff!!..n' specially that amit!!..a bigger uffff!!!!!...grrr!! **still turnin green** (wink!!)
For i am not sure if u want too many people around u...for i never thought, u wud grant me entry
...not your fault lady...if only my expressions were legal enough to trespass those neural barriers...but whatever...i'd take this blame on me as well.
p.s. felt as if few wounds just got healed...
well my exams tommorrow but i just cant keep away frm this place
"i don't think i'd make any difference to anyone"
...thts wht u think...ask others n guess some u urself know on whose attitude or thinkin u have made a difference...but ok we can differ on things :)..
P.S. as for tht anyways...well i have lost count how many people have told me tht..but still i keep doin it...;)
will try to remember it from now on
@dhruv -->> ..
...thts wht u think...ask others
...easy tiger!!(wink!)
whose attitude or thinkin u have made a difference
...what did i do??..i've no clue what are you talkin about...
well i have lost count how many people have told me tht
...so does it mean you don't care at all!!!!
will try to remember it from now on
...you better do...**grrr!!*
Calm down....calm down...u behave as if im Marilyn Monroe;-)
Btw, can we get Amit out of the scene..u dont have to turn a parrot green bcoz of him;-)
I plan to bask in the glory of remaining single for the next couple of years, so be rest assured;-)and yeah that means, lotz & lotz of time in my hand...which in turn can translate into me writing on my blog.
Calm down....calm down
...ok!..**he takes a deeeeep breath**..alright..i'm tryin!~!~!
u behave as if im Marilyn Monroe;-)
...why?..why?..why on earth you need to compare yourself with others...i don't like it at all..damn!!!...i like you...i don't like Monroe..i don't even know her...i know you...if not ..i'd like to!
Btw, can we get Amit out of the scene
...i'd love to!!!~(wink!)
u dont have to turn a parrot green bcoz of him;-)
...but i'll!!...that's one of my rights..i even turn green when someone else takes away my dear pillow in my home....which i don't use it under my head..but hug it tightly..damn..i miss my pillow...nothin can replace that!
remaining single for the next couple of years, so be rest assured;-)
...what do you mean rest assured!!!..i don't want you to keep single..i mean come on...i'd be really happy to see you happy...that amit came in the scene for he tried to take you away from me!!!!!..be a pair..be a triplet infact..i don't have any problems at all!!!!!!..**green signal**
which in turn can translate into me writing on my blog.
....yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
p.s. take care!
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